[音乐]
[Music]
患有抑郁症的人
People with depression
想要的东西和别人一样
want the same thing as anyone else
我们都在寻找爱
We’re all looking for love
这是真实的
and this is true
不管我们的内在如何
no matter what we’re dealing with on the inside
有时候 别人是否喜欢你是很难分辨的
Sometimes it’s very hard to tell if someone has a crush on you.
无论他们是开心和外向的
Whether they’re happy and extroverted
还是安静和内向的
or quiet and introverted.
但是这里有几个简单的方法你可能能够分辨出来
But there are a few simple ways you might be able to tell
即使是有抑郁症的人
even with people who have depression.
他们似乎害怕被拒绝
They seem afraid of getting rejected.
拒绝从来就不会令人开心
Rejection is never fun,
但是大多数情况下这只是爱的另外一部分
but in many ways it’s just another part of love
在我们生活中 许多人就已经感受过拒绝的刺痛
Most of us have felt the sting of rejection in our lives before.
我们已经开始接受它
we’ve come to accept it.
但是这也是真实的 不管你是否患有抑郁症
But this is true whether you have depression or not.
你可能发现自己
You might find yourself in a situation
处于你确信有人喜欢你的情形中
where you’re pretty certain someone likes you
但是他们似乎太害怕以至于不能获得足够的勇气
but they seem too scared to take that leap of faith,
他们只是不想再受到伤害
they just don’t want to get hurt again.
研究表明患有抑郁症的人
Studies have shown that a person with depression
处理拒绝的方式稍微有点不同
deals with rejection in slightly different ways,
所以可能需要留心注意一下
so that might be something to look out for.
他们可能觉得你不是他们团体中的人
They might feel like you’re out of their league.
你曾经被某人吸引
Have you ever been attracted to someone
却觉得他们遥不可及吗?
but it seems like you have zero chance with them?
我们都有过这种情况
We’ve all been there.
但是抑郁症患者可能感受的
But depressed people might be feeling
比其他人要多得多
a lot more than the rest of us
研究显示
Studies have shown that
抑郁症患者倾向于感觉自己一无是处
depressed individuals tend to feel a sense of worthlessness.
比如他们只是还不够好
Like they’re just not good enough.
在一个浪漫的场景中
In a romantic setting,
这可能导致他们觉得你完全不是同一类的人
this might cause them to feel like you’re totally out of their league
即使这个不是真的
even when it’s not even true.
相比于其他事情
A person with depression
抑郁症患者可能更想和你在一起
might want to be with you more than anything.
但是有时
but sometimes
他们需要一点鼓励和支持
they need a little bit of encouragement and support
让他们觉得比较轻松
to make them feel more at ease.
如果他们对性不感兴趣
If they’re not interested in sex,
那并不意味着他们不喜欢你
that doesn’t mean they’re not into you.
仅仅因为别人对你没有性趣
Just because someone isn’t interested in you sexually,
不意味着他们不喜欢你
that doesn’t mean they’re not attracted to you.
研究显示抑郁症和性功能障碍的联系
Studies have linked depression with sexual dysfunction,
比如可能是一种较低的性驱使
perhaps a lowered sex drive for example.
当然 他们可能不会迷恋你
Sure,they might not be drooling over you,
但是他们仍然可能喜欢你
but they could still be attracted to you.
看看其他的浪漫恋情的信号
Look for other signs of romantic attraction
而且你可能发现
and you might find
抑郁症患者完全是喜欢你的
that a person with depression is totally into you
他们可能看起来很绝望
They might seem desperate.
抑郁症患者不会全部都显得很绝望
Desperation definitely doesn’t show up in all people with depression
但是它们普遍关联着
but it is relatively common.
甚至有研究表明
Studies have even shown that
抑郁症和失控的性行为有关联
depression is linked with out-of-control sexual behavior.
他们可能允许抑郁症去伤害他们
They might have allowed their depression to get the better of them
并且这可能对他们的感情有负面的影响
and it could be impacting their relationships in a negative way.
在所有的信号中 这可能是最容易辨认的了
Of all the signs, this might be the easiest to spot.
甚至一些研究显示
Some studies have even shown a link
在强烈的性欲和抑郁症症状之间的关联
between hyper sexuality and depressive symptoms
在调情时他们可能显得很笨拙
They might seem awkward when they flirt.
大多数人都记得调情变得有一点尴尬的时刻
Most people remember a time when flirting got a little awkward,
但是在抑郁症患者中
but with people with depression,
这种情况可能更普遍
this might be a little more common.
一些研究已经发现
A few studies have explored the link
抑郁症和较少的人际沟通之间的关联
between depression and lowered interpersonal communication
这类例子可能是慢吞吞的说话或者是呢喃
Examples of this might be slowed or slurred speech
还有尴尬的沉默
and awkward silences.
所以留心这些信号
So look out for these signs.
如果你不仔细观察
If you don’t look hard enough,
你可能不会意识到他们正试图和你调情
you might not even realize that they’re trying to flirt with you.
他们可能不确定新的恋情
They might seem uncertain about the new romance.
当有新恋情的火花时总是令人兴奋的
It’s always exciting when there’s the spark of a new romance.
许多人觉得那是一种希望 兴奋和一点点焦虑的混合
Most of us feel a mixture of hope, excitement and a little anxiety.
但是抑郁症患者可能
But a person with depression might
比其他人感到更多的是不确定性
feel a lot more uncertain about a new romance than others.
这是因为一种叫做“关系的不确定性”的说法
This is due to something called” Relational Uncertainty”,
这已经被一些研究发现了
which is explored in a number of studies.
关系的不确定性就像它的名字一样
Relational uncertainty is exactly what it sounds like,
人们对这段感情觉得不确定
people feeling uncertain about their relationships.
事实是
The thing is,
抑郁症患者倾向于比其他人感受到更多
depressed individuals tend to feel things a lot more than others.
如果抑郁症患者喜欢你
if a person with depression is crushing on you,
他们可能同时也感受到了很多的焦虑
they might also be feeling a lot of anxiety at the same time.
他们可能不敢看你的眼睛
They might have trouble looking into your eyes.
研究表明抑郁症患者
Studies have shown that people with depression
要维持眼神交流很困难
have trouble maintaining eye contact
并且在一个浪漫的场景中
and in a romantic setting,
这可能对他们很有挑战性
this can be quite a challenge for them
我们都知道眼睛是心灵的窗户
We all know that the eyes are the window to the soul,
但是要如果抑郁症患者连对视都做不到
but how can depressed people hope to connect with their crushes
又如何期望他们去和喜欢的人交流呢?
if they can’t even look them in the eye?
如果你认为一个抑郁症患者喜欢你
If you think a person with depression might like you,
紧紧地看着他们
watch them closely
可能他们想要看着你的眼睛
Maybe they seem like they want to look you in the eye
但是他们不能
but they can’t
如果是这样 那么他们可能非常喜欢你
If so, then they might just have a major crush on you.
对约会的建议和浪漫的小点子感兴趣?
Interested in more dating advice and romance tips?
那么不要忘记订阅
Then don’t forget to subscribe.
并且一如既往 谢谢观看我们的视频
And as always, thanks for watching our videos.

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