知道么
You know what,
缺少自信
lack of self-confidence is one of the most important factors
会影响你的形象 对生活满意度
that can influence your image, your level of satisfaction with your life
以及你的情感稳定性
and your emotional stability.
所以 有时候很多人都会感觉没有安全感
So, well, a lot of people sometimes struggle with feeling a little insecure,
但是并不是人人都能战胜它
not everybody comes out a winner from this fight.
在这个视频中 你会了解到
In this video, you’ll get to know
心理学家所划分的
nine typical signs of emotionally unstable people
9种情绪不稳定人的类型
according to psychologists.
情绪不稳定的根源常在于自我怀疑
At the heart of this instability often lies, self-doubt.
第一种 过分的渴求变得受欢迎
No.1 an overwhelming desire to be popular
当然 很多人都想要被他人喜欢
Of course, a lot of people want to be liked by others.
这取决与一个人到底想要被喜欢到什么程度
It really just depends on how much someone wants it.
如果你有一个亲密的朋友或是一群朋友
If you have a close friend or a group of friends,
你应该就不会感到太坏
you’re not supposed to feel bad
如果有个人比你更受欢迎
about somebody else being more popular than you.
你还会为他们感到开心
You should feel happy for them.
但当我们身处一个互联网和社交媒体的时代
But in the age of the internet and social media,
许多人都想在网上变得超级受欢迎
so many people want to be super popular online.
如果你愿意为此做任何事
And if you’re ready to do anything,
那你就多看更多给你点赞以及好的评论
just to get more likes or views.
你应该努力去了解究竟是什么驱使着你
You should try to figure out what’s driving you.
如果你对此的痴迷程度加剧了
If your obsession escalates,
也许你就需要去看医生
perhaps you might need to see a therapist,
帮助你分析你问题的根源是什么
to help you determine the root cause of your desire to be popular.
第二种 外貌不自信
No.2 doubts about their appearance
无论你信不信 即使最有吸引力的人
Believe it or not, even the most attractive people
他们对自己的外表也不是总是感觉完美的
often don’t feel the best about their appearance.
是的 就像我
Yeah, just as me.
这是很正常的现象
And this is totally normal.
你不能总是100%确定
You can’t always be 100% sure
你一直处在完美的状态
that you look perfect all the time.
我们总有几天不满意和心情不好的时候
We have off days and bad moods,
很多其他的因素
and there are so many other factors
会影响你的外表的状态
that can influence the way you look.
试着找到你外表最好的一面
Try to find the best aspects
并突出展现那一面
of your appearance and highlight them.
这会让你感觉更加自信
This will help you feel way more self-assured.
请记住 那些没有自信的人
Remember that people who lose self-confidence
不会用觉得自己很完美这种方式来欺骗自己
don’t fool themselves by thinking they’re perfect.
他们对自己的优势和劣势都很清楚
They know both their best features and their weak points.
更重要的是 他们会接受每个人都有不足之处
More importantly, they recognize that everybody has flaws,
并且接纳自己
and accept themselves just the way they are.
没有什么比欣赏自己更吸引人的了
And there’s nothing more attractive than self-love.
第三种 过分在意他人的看法
No.3 caring about someone else’s opinion
如果你一直被以下这种想法控制
If you’re constantly preoccupied with wondering
他们会怎么看自己所做或者所说的
what other people think about what you do or say.
那么这种想法就会很容易让你感到紧张
then maybe this tidbit will set your nerves at ease.
大多数人担心的都一样
The thing is that most people are concerned about the same things.
每个人都害怕自己的话或是行为会受到他人消极的反馈
Everyone is scared of a negative reaction to their words and actions.
事实上人们对你的外表和行为根本没有兴趣
People aren’t generally all that interested in your appearance and your behavior.
因为他们太沉陷于此
Because they’re too caught up and worrying about
别人怎么看自己
how others see them.
问一下你同事你两天前穿的什么
Just ask your co-workers what you were wearing two days ago.
大多数人都答不出来
Odds are that most of them won’t even be able to answer.
所以停止这些烦躁的纠结就好
It’s okay to stop fretting about these things.
按照你想要的方式生活
And keep living the way you want.
第四种 对拒绝的反应
No.4 their reaction to refusal
现在没有人喜欢被拒绝
Now, nobody likes to be refused.
但是一次又一次
But from time to time,
你可能会有别人故意拒绝你想法的感觉
you might feel like someone has turned down your ideas on purpose.
你心里会有这些想法
And these thoughts can appear in your mind,
即使其他人根本没有反对你
even when the other person has nothing against you personally
或是故意冒犯你
and had no intention of offending you.
自我感觉别人对自己的否定
Getting a negative reaction to your proposals
真的会挫伤自己的自尊
can really hurt your self-esteem.
特别是 你一直与你的自信斗争的时候
Especially if you’re already struggling with yourself confidence.
请记住别人跟你的担心是一样的
Just remember that other people are worried about this too.
有时你可能就是
And sometimes you might be the person
拒绝别人想法的人
that turns down someone else’s ideas.
尝试在这些情况下理解他人的感受
Try to understand how other people feel in these situations.
你就会明白自己并不孤独
And you’ll understand you are not alone.
第五种 高期待
No.5 high expectation
一个人对自己期待很高
It’s great when a person expects a lot from themselves,
并且实现了自己的期待完成了大的目标的时候 这种感觉很棒
and actually meets these high standards to achieve big goals.
他们感觉自己很强 感到骄傲 备受鼓舞
They feel strong, proud and encouraged.
他们一直朝着新的目标努力
They keep on working toward new goals,
但是这种成功不是一瞬间就能实现的
but this success doesn’t happen in the blink of an eye.
它需要经历漫长的枯燥乏味的过程
It awaits at the end of a long and tiring process.
所以不要期待一蹴而就
So don’t count on a quick result,
否则你就会失败
otherwise you fail
而且会对你自己还有周围的世界感到失望
and be disappointed in yourself and the world around you.
这同样也适用于你对其他人有高标准的时候
The same goes for holding high standards for others.
你不能期待你自己或是其他人完成一些不可能的事
You can’t expect yourself or other people to do the impossible.
甚至当你自己无数次被击败后
Even when you’ve been knocked down a couple of times,
你仍旧不停止你已经开始的事
never quit something that you’ve started,
然后对周围的事失去耐心
and be patient with those around you.
第六种 嫉妒
No.6 jealousy
我们倾向性认为 其他人总是比自己更好
We tend to think that everyone else has it so much better,
至少我们从网上看到的是这样
simply from what we see online.
但真相是 社交媒体上那些让人羡慕的照片和帖子
but the truth is that enviable photos and posts on social media
并不能反映出一个人真实的生活
don’t show the real picture of anyone’s life.
最普遍的状态就是
Feeling dissatisfied with routine
我们都对自己的生活对自己会感觉不满意
and with yourself is an all too common phenomenon.
即使最快乐的人也会经历这一点
And it’s something that even the happiest people can struggle with.
这些完美的图片是被精心挑选
These perfect images are specifically chosen
展示一个人生活最好的时刻
to show the best moments of someone’s life,
而并非是每日的常态
not their day-to-day norm.
如果你认真想一下 你就会注意到你身边很多人
If you think about it you’ll notice that there are a lot of people around you
都有着同样的问题
who have the exact same problems.
所以事实就是 我们总是这山望着那山高
So the truth is that the grass is always greener on the other side.
其他人也会觉得你的生活很完美
And someone probably thinks your life is perfect, too.
这里有一些对抗嫉妒有效的办法
There are some really effective ways to combat jealousy.
停止比较
To start stop comparing.
一旦你注意到你自己的思想开始朝着那个方向发展了
As soon as you notice your train of thought is starting to move in that direction.
问一下自己 对我来说这有什么用
Ask yourself, what’s in it for me personally.
这会帮助你明白
This will help you understand,
嫉妒只能让你变得消极给你带来一个坏的心情
being jealous will bring you nothing but negativity and a bad mood.
尝试去分散自己的注意力
Try to distract yourself
将注意力转移到其他事情上
and switch your attention to something else.
如果你要做一个比较
And if you’re going to make comparisons,
那就比较你自己而并非他人
compare yourself not with others but with yourself
对比一下自己5年前 1年前或是1个月前的变化
five years, a year or a month ago.
一天花几分钟感激一下你拥有的一切
And dedicate a couple of minutes a dayto express gratitude for everything you have,
你已经取得多少成绩了
and how far you’ve come.
第七种 自我贬低
No.7 devaluation
其中一个问题表现就是我们总是确定
One more problem is that we’re often sure that
其他人可能不会懂我们将要经历什么
others can’t possibly understand what we’re going through.
我们很容易就觉得没有人会跟我们一样有相同的感受
It’s just too easy to think that nobody can feel the same feelings.
你有时可能相信 自己的担心是更重要的
You might sometimes believe that your own worries are more important,
比起你身边人 你自己的问题才更严峻
and your problems are more serious than those of the people around you have.
但这些不意味着你应该忽视
But this doesn’t mean that you should ignore those
那些真正想要帮助和支持你的人
who really want to help and support you.
第八种 犹豫不决
No.8 indecisiveness
嗯 如果你做决定需要很长时间
Well, if it takes you a really long time to make a decision.
这就是没有安全感的普遍表现了
it’s a common sign of insecurity.
这种情况下 你总会向那些对你很重要的人
In such situations, you probably often ask for the opinions
寻求意见
of people that are important to you.
幸运的是 学习如何做出自己的决定永远不会太迟
Luckily, it’s never too late to learn how to make decisions on your own.
甚至你可以用一个办法
There’s even a strategy you can use.
写下你所担心的事情
Write down your fears,
看着写下的东西会帮助你思考
seeing something in writing really puts it in perspective
帮助你考虑这个因素
and helps you take this factor into consideration.
想一下最糟糕的场景吧
Think about the worst case scenario.
想象过可能出现的最糟糕的情况
After imagining the most terrible situation that can happen,
你可能就会接受 即使最差的结果
you might understand that even the least favorable result
也许并没有你想象的那么糟糕
won’t be as dramatic as you might think.
确定这个决定是暂时的还是永远的
Determine if this decision is temporary or permanent.
如果永远不能改变的事情让你感到害怕
If the idea of something permanent scares you,
那就尝试用一个暂时性的决定来抵御这种害怕
then just try a temporary fix.
列出每一个替代选择的好处和坏处
Make a list of all the pros and cons of each alternative you have,
要全面和明确
be thorough and precise.
思考所有你列出的点
Consider all the points you’ve listed,
然后假设你要解决的困境不是你自己的 而是你朋友的
and pretend that the dilemma you’re dealing with isn’t your’s but a friend’s.
想象一下你会给他们什么样的建议
Imagine what you would advise them.
把你从自己的问题抽离出来 会帮助你加决定的进程
Detaching yourself from your problem really helps speed up the decision-making process.
思考一下未来
Think about the future.
哪一种替代方案会更容易让你觉得比较可行
Which alternative is easier for you to imagine as a real possibility,
并且你的感觉是什么
and how does it make you feel.
现在做出你的选择
Now, make your choice.
但是既然你仍旧在学习做出自己的决定
But since you’re still learning to make your own decisions,
你可能会感觉如果有替代计划BCD会更好
you might feel better having a plan B…or C…or D.
会更安全 不是么?
Better safe than sorry, right?
如果你发现自己被要求帮助别人做出一个决定
And if you find yourself being asked to help someone make a decision,
不要将自己的想法强加给他人
try not to impose your point of view on them.
相反 帮助他们明白自己想要的究竟是什么
Instead, help them understand what they really want.
你甚至可以用我们刚才讨论的策略!
You can even recommend the strategy we just talked about!
第九种 成为他人的附属品
No.9 being possessive of others
如果你希望你的朋友无论什么事都来帮你
If you expect your loved ones to come running to help you at the drop of a dime.
那你可能有一群假朋友
Then you have some really cheap friends.
不不不
No,no,no.
因为这条路对你毫无帮助
Then you might want to be careful,
你可能就要小心点了
because this is a road that will get you nowhere.
每个人都有他们自己的生活和愿望
Every person has their own life and desires
这些可能跟你的不同
that are probably different from yours.
这是很正常的因为他们都是独立的 而不是你的仆人
And this is perfectly normal because they are individuals, not your servants.
所以下次如果有人很快拒绝了你的帮助
Next time someone refuses to come rushing to your aid
那是因为他们只是想按照自己的办法进行下去
because they simply have their own stuff going on,
不要感觉被冒犯 相反按自己的心意而做
take action yourself instead of taking offense.
记住自信意味着情感的平衡
Remember, confidence equals emotional balance.
缺少自信的表现即使在最小的细节中都能被注意到
A lack of self-confidence can be noticed even in the smallest details.
我们的生活就是由小事堆积而成
And our life is nothing but a compilation of small instances.
所以尽力去改变你自己
So try and change something about yourself,
找到生活中的平和和自信
to find peace and self-assurance.
你觉得自己是一个自信的人么?
So, do you consider yourself a confident person?
或者会有事情让你觉得没有安全感么?
Or are there things that make you insecure?
来吧 别害羞!在评论区表达你们的看法
Come on, don’t be shy! Express yourself in the comments below.
别忘了给这个视频点赞
Remember to give this video a like,
因为你们的点赞越多
because the more likes it gets,
我们就会更快更新精彩内容
the faster we can spread this important message.
想抢先收看我们最精彩的内容
To keep up with our fun and interesting updates,
那就订阅我们的频道 和我们一起感受世间的美好
be sure to subscribe to our channel and stay with us on the bright side of life.

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